about trauma and the [parti pris] judgment of a broken soul

trauma is a greek word that means wound. it is unpredictable and undesirable facts that, violently, affect us and produce some form of injury or damage, chronic pain or mixed feelings and controversial attitudes, which lead to unanswered questions. in trauma there is no semantics, there are assumptions and the continuity of a process called life.

but it’s alright. you can go ahead. even with trauma. carrying them will make you a better person. there is no pride to be lost. on the contrary. traumas teach those who survive. life deserves to continue. and find a new beginning. after all, life is a wheel and the wheel never stops turning.

in my few years of life, i can say that i have the experience of starting over and over again, every day, without fear of saying that i failed, that i made the wrong choices. i have already swallowed my pride, my pain, my shame. i survived and kept going. i’m not here playing the hypocrite. i also recognize my defects. i have them in droves. and i suspect that these go beyond my qualities. but at the end of the day, we all know that they are the qualities that weigh most in the scale.

so, i fight every day with my lion, sometimes even more than one. i have traumas that i still keep to myself, without reserving me the right of others to know it. i move on. i don’t victimize myself, this is not an option that fits me. i make myself strong daily with exaggerated shots of courage to forget these traumas. the pain is mine and although everyone can understand, no one will ever, ever be able to understand how painful it can be to look back and remember. no one will ever understand until this happens to you. but this is the worst part: remembering, remembering hurts; and so i move on.