okay, 2021 is gone and so is january 2022, but for me it feels like we are still in december 2019; where and when all this shit started.
however it wasn’t just this virus, home office and curfews or restrictions on coming and going. luckily, fortuity, god, i don’t know, i haven’t lost anyone i love to this misfortune.
however, i lost my two little four-paws girls who were very important to me, robyn and mel [daddy will always love you both and will always cry with yarning].
they’ve said that god doesn’t give us a greater burden than we can’t bear. but someone forgot to warn him [god] that i don’t want to carry that kind of weight.
although i really manage to [carry these and others burdens], i must confess that i don’t have the mental health for this anymore. i know i’m not the only one and that if we held each other’s hands, the path would even be smoother.
but these two losses made me rethink some things and really be sure [and not just understand] that time is crueler than we think, despite healing too, being an answer too.
i once wrote here that time is not sovereign, but our only option. i had no choice with my two little four-paws girls.
which makes me look back at 2020, 2021 and this chaotic start to 2022 and feel my body and soul overwhelmed with choices i wouldn’t make. accepting these uncontrollable temporal advents is almost like mind-stuffing.
after all, despite being an introspective person, i am a bird and i like to fly.
about everything 