i lost my dad when i was very young. just a little kid. first for alcohol. then to another family. and then to a cardiopulmonary arrest. it was december 25th. christmas day. at 2:30pm. however, before [or in the middle of it] another family. the ones that fed up his addiction.
my brother was the one who brought the sad ballad to be told. but since then, he starts acting like my father. my brother brought an umbilical cord between and i always have had to refuse such thing. we have taken on different roles in our lives. even though we look like each other physically.
unfortunately.
and sometimes i come across some stories where brothers really developed this brotherhood [again, brotherhood, not fatherhood] thing and go on with their lives like best friends.
i have it with my sister. not with my brother. this is a fact. now, we have been a few good months without talking and since then i can hear the cannons of peace rarely felt between the two of us.
and although i often say that i regard my sisters-in-law much more than my sister and brother, i obviously miss them.
i mainly lack what i didn’t have: the fraternal, the real brotherhood, understanding, camaraderie relationship. however, i needed to learn at some point, that family does not always share the same blood, that i can choose my own family.
my brother went from my childhood’s hero to my teenage bullies’ best friend. and sometimes i think his attitudes were and are premeditated attempts to undermine any kind of affection i might want between us.
and now i understand that it would be too much to demand at least a sincere and genuine apology for all the pain.
so never ever meet your heroes.
about everything 