i’m so tired that i don’t know where to start, but i’ll try to be as clear as possible because i’m a mess inside and out. i’m so tired that thinking about starting again… i think i need to breathe. i’m not well.
i apologized. i didn’t want to be boastful or arrogant, but under the circumstances… i really shouldn’t have apologized for feeling anything. in fact, the fact that i feel something else should be a privilege.
because i would consider it a privilege, a huge privilege if you were to feel something for me. but i think i was just a distraction, as you said once.
obviously i didn’t want us to get here this way. i had imagined something else for us, i made other plans, to be honest.
i wrote poems… and now i’m not well.
as to time being sovereign? maybe, but right now, right here i want you to know and understand that i am fucking worth it.
i. am. fucking. worth. it!
but like i said, i can’t ask or demand anything here. however, thinking about the sovereignty of time, i decided to stay with myself, in silence, taking care of me and trying to find a reason.
watching you happy and not being part of that happiness was such difficult for me. still is. admit it.
so, the time may not be sovereign. or even better. just the only option.
about everything 