once again i am behind, again i was the one who waited. who believed. who again was broke. once again i’m picking up my pieces. trying to stick to me any way i can. to move on. again. once again.
i write now, to alleviate the disappointment a little. not with you. but with me. with me! i was wrong to break my own promises to not believe so easily, to create expectations and wait for someone and something that can only happen at disney.
sorry for believing in you. have created expectations. expected by our gerunds.
in my head, i am setting up the riot, drawing the plans, collecting words, choosing songs, separating the films and series, preparing the nights of dancing [with the headphones in my ears], deciding the bed sides, taking care of the heart.
i keep saving reticences, excluding the end points and periods and full stops, architecting dawns of love [and sex], planting feelings, making poems, creating situations, imagining futures, dreaming, just dreaming.
and here you are again, the worst part for me was your silence. nothing hurt more than that. but i’ve already decided: i’ll get over, because i’m worth it.
i’m worth it. even if it’s just for myself.
about everything 